Scary Costumes for 2010, Saturday Submission: The Tea Party Congressperson

30 Oct

So far my series of 2010 costume ideas has been a bit of a failure. I found five great ideas, but none of them were really very scary after all. But after drowning my disappointment in last night’s very tasty margaritas, I had a nightmare vision. Sure, Tea Party candidates are wacky and all, but a fully-elected Tea Party Congressperson is downright terrifying.

A Tea-driven Republican majority in either chamber of congress would give power to people for whom the worst extremes of the Bush adminsitration read like an instruction manual.

  • Tea-stained values are rabidly anti-choice and anti-woman. Sharron Angle said that a teenaged girl raped by her father should make “a lemon situation into lemonade” rather than consider abortion. Ken Buck, currently a district attorney, refused to prosecute a rape case because the woman had previously dated her rapist; he accused the victim of acting out of “buyer’s remorse.”
  • In Orange Pekoe America, the LGBT community is in for far worse times. Carl Paladino’s infamous rant is a pretty good indicator of where the Tea Party stands on gay rights. Serial moron Christine O’Donnell maintains that gays have an “identity disorder” and is a fan of the “ex-gay” movement. Already seated patron saint of all things tea Jim DeMint scores a double-whammy by repeating his opinion that homosexuals and single mothers are unfit to serve as teachers.
  • Honesty doesn’t have a place at this Mad Hatter’s table either. Joe Miller has violated federal disclosure laws, even when seated as a judge, and likely resigned from a previous office due to ethics violations. Ed Martin has a special history of lies and obfuscation. At least Christine O’Donnell is so honest that she would have fingered hidden Jews if the Nazis came calling.
  • And what about the U.S. Constitution? Seems the Tea Party has a love-hate-confusion relationship with that pesky document. Sharron Angle, Rand Paul, and others are interested in repealing various amendments, including, ironically, direct election of senators. Ms. Angle is pretty fond of that oft-misunderstood 2nd amendment, however, especially as a method of subverting the vote if she loses. And our Ms. O’Donnell apparently can’t even be bothered to understand what the Constitution says.
  • Nor is a free press of interest in Teabagistan. When they aren’t running from the press, Tea Party candidates resort to intimidation or  detention. Apparently their supporters believe in using violence to oppose the right of the people to peaceably assemble as well.

Sure, it’s fun to laugh at Christine O’Donnell’s mice with human brains and Rand Paul’s Aqua Buddha. But if these people actually get elected that insanity will infect our already ailing Congressional discourse. At best, two more years of grandstanding and paralysis. At worst, a Victorian McCarthyist Depression with Gulags. If you aren’t scared yet, please revisit this terrifying bedtime story by Keith Olbermann. Then make sure you vote, no matter how disappointed you might be in the Democratic alternative to this madness. Apathy, in this case, borders on treason.

2 Responses to “Scary Costumes for 2010, Saturday Submission: The Tea Party Congressperson”

  1. penguinlad October 30, 2010 at 10:52 am #

    If you want to know who the tea party candidates are, the NY Times has a really good list:

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