America, You Owe Poor Newt an Apology!

10 Mar

I'm Waiting For My Apology America

Thanks to my friend Jen Lockett for sending me this article on our Newt. Poor old, sad old, dear old Newt! This poor soul committed adultery thrice in the name of his country. Yes, he left his cancer ridden wife for his mistress all because of his dedication to America.

Okay, am I the only one scratching my head on this one? Are he and Ginni Thomas sharing the same brew of tea?  Of course, his heart felt, or rather heart facsimile, confession was taken by The Christian Broadcasting Network–always regarded as a triumph of journalist integrity (I think I just spit up a little in my mouth on that one).  I guess now that he as confessed how hard hard working he is, thus married three times, he has the right to be sanctimonious and pass judgement on other people’s marriages.  To my friend Beth who wrote an open letter to homophobes, I hope you see now that you owe our Newt an apology!  Why did we force this poor victim, Newt, to be morally bankrupt? Click here to see the absolutely absurd full story.

11 Responses to “America, You Owe Poor Newt an Apology!”

  1. Mike Martinez March 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    Hypocrisy seems to be a Republican moral imperative. Great post.:-)

  2. Jen March 10, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

    This poor man. I can’t believe that he loved America so much that he had to leave not one, but two cancer stricken wives for his mistresses and then subsequently had to cheat on them. I cannot fathom that level of patriotism. Thank god this man is here to defend marriage!

    • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt March 10, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

      And yet, I don’t hear an apology from you? In my best Ginni Thomas voice: “I’m Waiting!”

      • Jennifer March 10, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

        I’m drafting it as we speak. However, words did not feel like enough. I’m currently writing music for a 32 piece orchestra – played on the world’s smallest instruments.

      • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt March 10, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

        Jen, it sounds like we are drafting the same libretto for our sad Newt.

  3. webwordwarrior March 10, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    For Newt so loved his country that he gave his seriall-wedded wives, that whosoever believes in mendacity, hypocrisy, and bigotry might later vote for him for president.

  4. Jennifer March 10, 2011 at 2:50 pm #

    Also, did you notice how in the story that infidelity just keeps ‘happening’ to Newt? I mean, he’s just walking along, being all patriotic and **wham** infidelity just happens! Poor guy…

  5. combscp March 10, 2011 at 5:40 pm #

    Are you kidding me? My jaw dropped to the floor when I saw this on TV today. I thought I heard him wrong, but no. For once I honestly have no words, I just have to laugh. Is this the best the GOP can do?

    • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt March 10, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

      Let’s hope that he and Palin really do run! The ball of crazy they would create is a very beatable ticket.

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