Thank you, Facebook.

23 Sep

Dear Facebook,

I just wanted to write to say thank you for doing my thinking for me. I really appreciate you taking control of what news I’m able to see, what friends I should be in touch with, and only allowing me to see what you deem appropriate for me. I know that as a 44-year-old man, I’m not really capable of making these decisions for myself.  I need the Facebook to determine what I am able to see and process; just as women really can’t be trusted to make decisions regarding their own health and reproductive rights.  How long before Facebook will determine civil rights I wonder? Will Facebook and Google merge and the world will finally be the incarnation of Orwell’s 1984?

Thank you also for determining what is important enough to reach my email now. Surely, I can’t be trusted to filter through my own email.  I’m just glad the pictures are bigger–I hate having to read.  I’m certain the pictures are enough, just as I am sure that everything on the Internet is true and that Republicans care about the poor and disenfranchised.   I also heard about a Gay Agenda, so that must be true.  Thank goodness for those trustworthy GOP Presidential candidates making sure the poor, black, aging, LGBT communities will not be treated equally.  Alas, I don’t have to worry about anyone reading this on Facebook, because I’m sure they will determine it is not suitable to be read on their newsfeed–let’s face it, I don’t have any lovely photos to share with this article.

Thanks again, Facebook, or shall I just call you Uncle Joe?


10 Responses to “Thank you, Facebook.”

  1. James Queale September 23, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    I love this. You are great at delivering sarcastic humor. 🙂

  2. Michelle September 23, 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    I agree! Couldn’t have said it better! I have been thinking lately of deleting my Facebook for this reason as well as others. I shared this on Facebook on my wall! You are the best with your sense of humor! Love you!

  3. daphinytsno September 24, 2011 at 6:55 am #


    • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt September 24, 2011 at 6:58 am #

      Thank you, Daphiny. I wonder if it will have any influence over Facebook to change things?

  4. daphinytsno September 24, 2011 at 7:01 am #

    I think the new FACEBOOK messed me up…….. I am still a member huh ??

  5. daphinytsno September 24, 2011 at 7:01 am #

    OH It posted ……..grrrrrrrrrrr this new FACEBOOK !!!!!!!!!!! I hate it ……. lol ……..hugs to all ……. Daph

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