I just wanted to write to say thank you for doing my thinking for me. I really appreciate you taking control of what news I’m able to see, what friends I should be in touch with, and only allowing me to see what you deem appropriate for me. I know that as a 44-year-old man, I’m not really capable of making these decisions for myself. I need the Facebook to determine what I am able to see and process; just as women really can’t be trusted to make decisions regarding their own health and reproductive rights. How long before Facebook will determine civil rights I wonder? Will Facebook and Google merge and the world will finally be the incarnation of Orwell’s 1984?
Thank you also for determining what is important enough to reach my email now. Surely, I can’t be trusted to filter through my own email. I’m just glad the pictures are bigger–I hate having to read. I’m certain the pictures are enough, just as I am sure that everything on the Internet is true and that Republicans care about the poor and disenfranchised. I also heard about a Gay Agenda, so that must be true. Thank goodness for those trustworthy GOP Presidential candidates making sure the poor, black, aging, LGBT communities will not be treated equally. Alas, I don’t have to worry about anyone reading this on Facebook, because I’m sure they will determine it is not suitable to be read on their newsfeed–let’s face it, I don’t have any lovely photos to share with this article.
Thanks again, Facebook, or shall I just call you Uncle Joe?