My husband and I had our first date on July 2. We are both activists and we met volunteering at what used to be the Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Center. He was the librarian there and I was running support groups. Activism has been a huge part of both of our lives, and as we are getting older, I seem to get even more militant around what I call any type of “othering.”
There are times when I really do feel bad for my husband. I think I have a tendency of zapping any pleasure from watching television, or movies, or social media. My vigilance around issues of feminism, homophobia, racism, and the intersections of oppression can, at times, make people want to slap me bald. I would like to say that being in social work school has made me this way, but let’s face it, for those that know me, I have been this way for the past 25 years.
The above cartoon, sent to me by my friend Katherine, a strong feminist and LGBT ally, and my husband interrupting my tirade while watching Chopped made me reflect on my militancy. It is very hard not to notice the misogyny on Chopped–I’m just saying. Of course, while on one of my many tirades, my husband looked at me and said: “Can we please just enjoy the show, please? Can you not be a social worker all the time?”
Of course, I’m grateful that we are both passionate about social justice and that my life partner (since we are not legally allowed to get married yet) just “gets me,” as I understand him. It is magical and wonderful to have been with someone so long that there is a history created, a type of palimpsest–I know he will always be next to me:
Never in my life have I met someone like him
I’m blown away by his love for me
If you ever wonder where it is you’ll find him
You will find him, you will find him next to me
Our move out west has been fraught with a great many frustrations and now with no money and no employment we both are trying to re-invent ourselves. I suspect what prevents each of us from having a total meltdown is that we at least have each other during this journey which is both bizarre and rewarding. Sometimes we just get lucky and we know it is The Right Thing to Do.