Bachmann Removed From Intelligence, or Vice Versa?

25 Jul

On the Intelligence Committee? Really?

Sadly, Joe McCarthy has seems to have resurrected himself through Michele Bachmann–I guess you get what you pay for, Joe, and apparently Bachmann’s brain was free.  When I asked Republican Representative Bachmann what do you consider a good and successful day? She responded:

I love taking walks on the ocean beach here in Minnesota. I work hard every day to rid the state of those pesky gays, Blacks, and Muslims.  I also work hard to make sure we destroy Planned Parenthood.  Only men should make decisions about women’s health. Right now I’m trying to get rid of Hillary Clinton’s aide, Huma Abedin, because she just looks like a terrorist to me and I’m a very good judge just by looking.  By the end of the day when I’m just so tired of doing all my good works, I like to take a hot bath and let Marcus (who has spent the day helping those gays become straight) set my hair in hot rollers before he back combs me–now that is a successful day!

I’m just curious, do you happen to have any evidence against Huma Abedin?

I am on the House Intelligence Committee.  What more do you need as evidence?  I’m just so grateful that God created America so that all of us could enjoy the freedoms here.  My black maid and I were just having this conversation as she was cleaning up the kitchen yesterday.

What about the Native Tribes that occupied this land before white people got here?

 The Natives? Who? You mean the Indians? They gave us this land.  I don’t know where they are now, but we don’t want them to be Indian Givers, now do we?

How do you reply to John Boehner when he says you have gone too far?

Everyone knows John Boehner is a Fascist Socialist, or is it Communist? It’s one of those pesky long words that God doesn’t like. Remember, I’m doing his work, so I’m rubber and your earthly criticism is glue! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I see a book that needs banning…

10 Responses to “Bachmann Removed From Intelligence, or Vice Versa?”

  1. Christine Noble July 25, 2012 at 7:41 am #

    Hmmmm… taking cues from The Onion are we? I love it! Sad thing is, it is not far from the truth.

    • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt July 25, 2012 at 7:46 am #

      Christine, That is high praise that you think I could mimic the Onion. I’m glad you enjoyed the story and yes, it is sad because I did base her created responses on things she has actually said in the past year.

  2. eva July 25, 2012 at 8:02 am #

    WTF??? Really

    • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt July 25, 2012 at 8:05 am #

      The actual interview never happened. I just based it off of things she has said this past year. However, she really is trying to get rid of Huma Abedin for being Muslim. I hope you enjoyed the story.

  3. I think she might have been caught in the ocean undertow one too many times out there in Minnesoter, whaddaya think?

    • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt July 25, 2012 at 9:46 am #

      I’m glad someone caught my joke about the ocean and Minnesota! Thank you.


  4. Tom McCollin July 25, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    This is further proof that politicians (whomever they are) should be tested on their knowledge of world history and also be made to quote verbatim the Constitution. It should be easy for those, especially on the right, since they are quoting both to the rest of us on a consistent basis. It’s only fair that this happens. Before anyone can get married, a license is needed. Before anyone is able to drive, a license is required. If you want to hunt or fish, a license yet again. So wouldn’t it stand to reason that all people in any government job (especially politicians) would be required to be tested on what they know about this country and all it stands for. And if they fail, the rest of us can be at peace knowing that Government Intelligence is no longer an oxymoron but, a reality.

    • Michael Hulshof-Schmidt July 25, 2012 at 10:43 am #

      Sadly Tom, I don’t believe this is even possible for Tea Party members. They seem to be ensconced in ignorance.

  5. Tom McCollin July 25, 2012 at 11:20 am #

    What is even sadder, Michael. They are dragging so many people down to the depths of their ignorance. And not caring, because if they have no proof or evidence of what they are saying they resort to scaring people into believing them.

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