GOP Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney wrapped up his three-nation overseas tour, demonstrating his usual diplomacy, tact, planning, and magical power to reinvent reality with every third sentence. After a disastrous visit to England and a speech in Israel that was elitist, anti-Semitic and racist all at once, Romney managed to avoid any major missteps during his brief stay in Poland. Well, except for the trip’s press secretary, Rick Gorka, telling a reporter “Kiss my ass — this is a holy site.” Now that’s a sentence you don’t hear every day! The most likely explanation for Romney himself not adding to #romneyshambles in Poland is that he is completely devoid of humor, thus being unable to tell any Polish jokes…
How did the Romney campaign respond to the rampant criticism of the trip? With an etch-a-sketch, a pointing finger, and what can only be called Bain logic of course! When asked about his famous line comparing Israel with Palestine — “culture makes all the difference” — good ol’ Mitt had this to say:
[I] did not speak about the Palestinian culture or the decisions made in their economy. That is an interesting topic that perhaps can deserve scholarly analysis but I actually didn’t address that. I certainly don’t intend to address that during my campaign.
Oh but you did, Mitt, you did. Just like your pro-choice, pro-gay, and pro-healthcare stands of yore, it’s a matter of record. Even your robotic arms can’t shake the world hard enough to make the facts disappear. So of course he resorts to a new tactic: the problem lies not in our Mitt, but in our press.
I realize that there will be some in the Fourth Estate, or whichever estate, who are far more interested in finding something to write about that is unrelated to the economy, to geopolitics, to the threat of war, to the reality of conflict in Afghanistan today, to a nuclearization of Iran. They’ll instead try and find anything else to divert from the fact that these last four years have been tough years for our country.
Um, Mitt, if you’re going to use “fourth estate” just use it. Don’t dither. And by the way, you haven’t addressed one single item on that list in your campaign either. You’ve nuked your primary opponents and tried to make people focus on the President, boldly ignoring the Republican administration whose mistakes he’s trying to fix and the Republicans in Congress who have spent “these last four years” obstructing progress for political gain. It’s the job of the press to tell us what a Presidential candidate is up to, just like it’s your job to convince America that you’re viable. So far, only one of you is doing your job.
But the trip was a success! So says Romney strategist Stuart Stevens, calling the least successful trip across Europe since Napoleon visited Russia “a great success, generally.” Wow! Now those are some inspiring words. Stevens also noted that Romney had answered “a lot of questions.” Well, to be fair, three questions outside 10 Downing Street is more than he’s answered clearly about his taxes or his time at Bain, but objectively it isn’t “a lot.”
Sadly, even the Republicans can’t spin gold out of this heap of bull-Mitt. Trying to put a brave face on it, party strategists and political consultants have come up with things like:
- The question always is if you had to do all over again and get the exact same results, would you do it again? Well, in this case, no. But it’s not that big of a deal.
- It comes under the heading “seemed like a good idea at the time.”
- What they didn’t anticipate was how hot the media glare was going to be. They wanted to go over there and not make any news and they ended up making some.
Oh, poor Mitt! With friends like these, who needs an opposing political party. Of course the Democrats have assembled this handy clip reel so Mitt can remember his lovely trip. The more time Romney spends in front of the cameras, the clearer it becomes why the RNC doesn’t want W at the convention. The two are geting pretty hard to tell apart.