Tag Archives: Alex Jones

I AM Running For President, Officially

2 Jul

My sad attempt to do drag.

While the past 528 days have been excruciatingly painful, the past week has been so intense that everyone I know is understandably in despair. With Justice Kennedy resigning under a cloud of mystery, the Supreme Court ruling against women’s rights to access safe abortions, gutting union power, justifying discrimination against the LGBTQ community in the guise of religious freedom, and supporting 45’s racist travel ban, it has all been too much! This on top of 45 withdrawing us from the United Nations Human Rights Council and insulting our former allies, while praising dictators like Kim Jung Un and Vladimir Putin. This is particularly difficult in the wake of 45 congratulating himself for his “summit” with Kim Jung Un and now we have evidence as of June 27 that North Korea is currently increasing its nuclear capacity–thanks 45–you truly are a moron! The summit between 45 and the Puppet Master (Putin) should have the entire nation enraged, terrified, and thinking about courses of action to resist this administration. It is easy to see why the nation has plummeted into great despair.

I have sadly been pondering and understanding why thinking people who experience depression contemplate suicide–I say this with no judgement, but rather complete empathy, as I have struggled with depression for over 40 years and have periodically thought about suicide. I have decided the course of action I am compelled to take, is that I must run for President and assemble a cabinet that celebrates our diversity and is committed to equity — that we dedicate ourselves to lifting every voice, and I want to be the first openly Queer President.

My platform that I will run on is:

  • Medicare for all/Improving access for all to health care
  • Focus on Women’s rights, specifically reproductive rights
  • Establishing and sustaining rights and protections for the entire LGBTQ community
  • Establish a commitment to addressing Climate Change
  • Make Higher Education accessible to all
  • Establish a Living Wage and Support our Unions
  • Develop a complete redistribution of wealth to eliminate poverty and address housing as a human right
    • Taxing corporations and families and individuals earning over $250,000 a year
    • We have over 30 years of evidence that the “trickle down theory” is bullshit
  • Abolish ICE
  • Design some form of gun control
  • Support and help to rebuild Puerto Rico

As First Gentleman, my husband, Robert, will pursue a platform of civic education for all, esuring that today’s generation of students is tomorrow’s generation of informed, effective voters and engaged community participants.

I would also appoint people who actually have the capacity for critical thought and are competent for cabinet positions. Maxine Waters (who has received an extraordinary amount of death threats for asking for peaceful protests, in contrast to 45 who incites and ask for violence) will be Vice-President. RuPaul will be Secretary of State–although bitch please, she stole my song “Don’t be Jealous of my Boogie,” as I recorded it back when I was a Ziegfeld  Follies girl in 1930. RuPaul, “you better work,” as we have a great deal of repair work to do around the world. The Grande Dame, Latrice Royal will be the Director of the FBI. Kayta Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova will become the Director of the CIA. My press secretary will be Ms. Vanjie who will replace the slithering  soulless sycophant Sarah Huckabee Sanders. John Lewis of Georgia will be the new Attorney General. Replacing the walking illiterate homophobic pustule, Betsy DeVos, will be Ms. Sasha Velour. My former student and veteran, Sergeant Brandon Robert Leonard (Army) will be the Secretary of Veterans Affairs. My esteemed colleague and dear friend Professor Lisa Hawash (long time advocate for those in poverty and experiencing homelessness) will be the Secretary of Labor. My amazing colleague and friend with EqualityWorks, NW, Juanita Range will be the Secretary of the Treasury. My equally amazing colleague and friend also with EqualityWorks, NW, Kenya Budd will be the Secretary of Health and Human Services. Dr. Gita Mehrotra, who has over 15 years of experience working with and advocating for communities around housing will be the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. Asha Omar, a former student and now colleague and has over a decade of experience around issues of diplomacy will be the Secretary of Defense. Jodi Sisson will serve as my Chief of Staff for her decades of experience in social justice. Christine Baranski will be my Whitehouse Counsel.

Moving on to the Supreme Court. This court has been lopsided with Fascists for long enough. Replacing Justice Kennedy will be Ms. Bianca Del Rio. With the latest sexual harassment accusations against Clarence Thomas, he will be impeached and replaced by the right honorable Anita Hill.

My administration will work with heart, passion, and empathy to make the lives of all humans better and to create greater access. We want all people to be able to thrive and live in love and prosperity without barriers. I want our country to be a place where people with targeted identities no longer have to live in fear and that all public servants operate from a place of curiosity, humility, and empathy. When we accomplish this, we will have as evidence a lower crime rate, less hate, and less fear. We can live in community and celebrate and honor all human beings and see how our diversity around the intersections of race, queerness, gender, ability, and gender identity make us stronger! Love will prevail! We will be able to see that finally Mike Pence and Alex Jones can celebrate their long lusty love affair publicly. 

I implore you, please vote in the midterms in November and change the balance of power! Send McConnell packing! In solidarity and with love, Michael.

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Bigot of the Week Award: May 3, the Broken U.S. Congress

3 May
Bigot of the Week

Bigot of the Week

The entire U.S. Congress managed to earn this week’s BWA as they ignored the plight of millions of Americans and adjusted the federal budget for their own convenience. As the idiotic budget sequester continues to pinch government agencies, many people are suffering. Clinics have reduced hours, education programs are being cut, and seniors in some locations are losing meals on wheels due to the across-the-board cuts that should never have happened.

Republicans in the House and Senate have been whining for weeks about the sequester, blaming the President for actually following a law that they passed. This week, however, things got really ugly. Because of the blindly even cuts, the FAA has had to reduce air traffic control. This has resulted in some flight delays, with a ripple effect that has inconvenienced many travellers. Frequent fliers — like lobbyists, the wealthy, bankers, and members of Congress — are particularly inconvenienced. So this week the Senate unanimously approved a bill to change funding for the FAA; the House overwhelmingly approved the bill, with 92 Democrats jumping on board.

President Obama called Congress out for their hypocrisy. He declined to veto the bill given its probability of passing again and wasting legislative time, but insisted that lawmakers fix the whole problem, not just a small piece that makes them sad. What a pathetic display of classism and callous disregard. Apparently America continues to become the land of the Rich and Privileged. Adding this to the gun control failure makes me itch for the next election.

Dishonorable mention goes to two very different men this week. First up is ESPN commentator Chris Broussard. Responding to NBA player Jason Collins’ coming out interview, Broussard injected his narrow KKKristian values into the story.

If you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits. It says that, you know, that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, whatever it maybe, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ.

I just loved Chris Broussard  when he was on Saturday Night Live as the Church Lady!

Professional conspiracy hack Alex Jones joins the bigot parade as well. Known for his anti-Muslim rantings and bizarre theories, Jones showed an even uglier side. Arguing — for no apparent reason — against what he calls “fake rights” for transgender Americans, he uttered this gem.

I don’t want my daughters growing up in a country where some transvestite comes walking into the thing [bathroom] hopped out of their brain on drugs vomiting and crapping all over the place.

I don’t want any children growing up in a world where Alex Jones has any say in it whatsoever.  What kind of monster is Jones?

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