Tag Archives: FRC

Hate Groups Trying to Play Victim Card: Hypocrisy Much?

19 Aug

What, me hate?

First allow me to say how saddened I was to learn that a security guard was injured at the Family Research Council (FRC).  I, for one, am not a proponent of violence, regardless of the fact that FRC and the ironically named National Organization for Marriage (NOM) — along with their sponsored elected officials — are pushing violence as part of their “Christian” agenda.

There is a very good and very real reason why the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) has acknowledged FRC and NOM as hate groups.  Now closet case Tony Perkins and our ball of crazy Maggie (I can’t stop thinking about gay sex) Gallagher are trying to play the victim card. They say the “hate group” label caused the shooting. Good ol’ Maggie is even helping another hate group, LivePrayer, mount a $100 million lawsuit against the SPLC.

Let us have a bit of a history lesson before we proceed.  The FRC is rooted in White Supremacy and has ties to the KKK — big shock there.  Both NOM and the FRC have decades of blood on their hands for pushing their homophobic hate. Violence against the LGBT community has gone up by 13%, as have gay teen suicides.  Where is the apology from the FRC and NOM?  Let us also be reminded of the extraordinary misogyny of these hate groups.  James Dobson, the founder of the FRC (secret lover of Tony Perkins) was quoted as saying: “The biggest Holocaust in world history came out of the Supreme Court with the Roe v. Wade decision.”

What’s sad is that many in the media are buying Perkins’ poor li’l me sob story. The same twisted rationale that has him appear on news programs to provide a “balanced view” has them saying  the “hate group” label is too harsh for a “policy organization.” If any of those so-called journalists had done a bit of research, they would know that the SPLC addressed that issue, highlighting the aggressively hostile language that Perkins and the FRC use about the LGBT community. (GLAAD has a good overview as part of their commentator accountability project. Maggie is on the list there as well.) The crowning irony is that Perkins has repeatedly accused the LGBT community of exploiting bullied gay teens (many of whom committed suicide) to gain sympathy; now he’s hiding behind his employee and “friend.” How christian…

P.S. FRC hosts a big conference each September, the horrifically titled Values Voters Summit. They just confirmed a new speaker for this year’s event…Rep. Paul Ryan. That should be all anyone really needs to know about Romney/Ryan 2012.  Yes, Paul Ryan represents the values or the lack of values of registered Hate Groups!

The Sanctity of Marriage…

2 Mar

Normal Married Couple

Today marks the anniversary of my nine year marriage to my husband. We have been together for twelve years, and married for nine. I write this article in response to my rage against those that say there is nothing sacred about same sex marriage–that takes more than gall; it takes profound ignorance, fear, and bigotry. As I look at the wonderfully successful heterosexual marriage of Britney Spears and television shows like The Bachelor, where women are treated as objects and these “bachelors” can pick one as if they were at a cafeteria. I am enraged at the hypocrisy of people like Newt Gingrich and all of his successful marriages, opposing marriage equality.  I am enraged at people claiming that my marriage/partnership is anything less than a normal committed union between two loving and compassionate souls. For those that are preaching about the “sanctity of marriage, why don’t you outlaw divorce!

I really hate women, blacks, and gays!

It is further irritating to now hear that John ( I will thwart the American People at every turn) Boehner is consulting with bigots like Rick (The P is silent) Santorum about hiring a special counsel to defend DOMA.  Take action against these bigots here.  Really, Boehner? So instead of creating jobs, or decreasing the rising unemployment rate, you want to attack women, the poor, and the LGBT community.

Frankly, I’m really tired of being treated as a second class citizen, with over 1,100 rights that my heterosexual peers are entitled to that I am not. Again, this is a civil rights issue–not an issue “let’s take a poll and see if people think the LGBT community deserve equal civil rights.”  My husband and I have a MARRIAGE! We love each other, we support each other, we make each other laugh and cry. We are there for each other during extraordinarily difficult times and good times. When I fell off of our roof ten years ago, and Robert thought I was dead, he stood by me and took off work for two weeks to stay with me in the hospital as they tried to put me back together.  When we moved across the country because Georgia had passed such virulent anti-gay laws and I had a horrible time trying to get used living in the Northwest, we stuck together.

Today we celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary and You don’t get to say what we are allowed to have! I hope within my lifetime that the voices of love, compassion,and courage will drown out the nasty ugly voices of hate and bigotry.

Wednesday Word of the Week: February 9

9 Feb

All A Family Requires Is Love

The word of the week is FAMILY.

Although it seems straightforward, this word is a tricky one. What is a family?

Many prominent, outspoken groups exist with “family” in their names. Family Research Council. American Family Association. Focus on the Family. What do they say?

Apparently, a family is a mother, a father, and their children; end of story. Each organization has slightly different language and dances prettily around “other models” of family. With careful reading, however, the definition, and its message, are clear.

Let’s deconstruct that with my family, shall we?

My father was born in Poland in 1942. His entire family was dragged off to concentration camps; not one survived. A brave American soldier named Arthur Kahn brought him home to the States, where he and his wife subsequently adopted the orphan. Is that a family?

Dad died when I was 19. I was in college but certainly still reliant on my family. My mother and her parents together gave me the support, care, and love I needed to finish college and graduate school and set up a life of my own. Is that a family?

I had a girlfriend named Melissa for four years during college and graduate school. Her parents were divorced. The whole group comprised her mother and stepfather, her sister and half-brother, her father and stepmother, and two stepsisters. Everyone assembled in one place for each holiday and landmark birthday. Even though her mother and father were still uneasy in each other’s company, they felt it was critical to the children to feel a sense of community. I attended some of those gatherings; they were always joyous and loving. Is that a family?

My best friend, Drew, lives in Boston now. In 2008, he married his partner of five years, John. I was lucky enough to be their best man. Their love for each other is one of the most beautiful things I have ever beheld. Is that a family?

All those “family values” organizations and their ilk would hint (strongly) that none of these arrangements are quite right; at least one of these families would be outright condemned, albeit with christian love for the “sinners.” But what is a family?

1) a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head

5) a. the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; b. any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family

— Merriam-Webster Online

I include this mostly to show how far into the definition we get before the narrow “values-” based definition appears. Notice, too, the parallel definition given equal prominence. Literal words fail to support these self-appointed experts. Where do they draw their inspiration? So-called biblical values.

These values are derived from the same source that tells us of Solomon’s monumental polygamy; that regales us with Lot’s daughters seducing their drunken father; that has Job’s happy, prosperous family destroyed while his loving heavenly father plays games with the devil. What a great source of family advice!

Those Faulty Founts of Family Fundamentals so often fall on their faces. Newt Gingrich, Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, the list of adulterers, chronic divorcees, and hypocrites on gay rights, goes on and on. Why do they get to decide what makes a family?

Now let’s look at my friend Drew’s wedding again. He has a mother, father, stepmother, three brothers, and two sisters. His mother and one sister attended the wedding. John has a mother and father and eight siblings. Not one of them was in attendance. They all cited “traditional family values” when rejecting these fine men. Is that a family?

I may be an only child by birth, but I have a brother named Drew Carnahan. Through his legal and spiritual marriage, I gained another brother named John Carnahan. (Carnegie + Callaghan: strangely neither man wanted to keep the name he started with.) They would do anything for me, and I for them. We are bound by love, trust, and respect. That makes a family.

Like much of my generation, I’m trying to reboot my life. While I’m struggling with finances and (lack of) job options, Granddad and Mom have welcomed me back into their home, no questions asked. That makes a family. If Drew and John needed help, they’d be welcome too. That makes a family.

Drew and John are a loving, supportive couple. They complement each other perfectly, truly becoming so much more than the sum of their parts. Their love and joy is contagious, bringing comfort to everyone in their circle. That, too, makes a family.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

With gratitude and thanks to:

  • Melissa, for sharing your wild, wonderful family with me and letting me share it with the world.
  • Michael, for welcoming into your online family with such warmth.
  • Phyllis, the kind of caring, crazy, adoptive aunt every lost lamb should luck across.
  • Drew, John, Granddad, and Mom, thank you for being my family.
  • Grammy, Gramps, Grandma, and Dad, your departure from this world in no way unravels you from the fabric of my family.

All my love, Lex

Defining a family…

2 Feb

As Iowa starts to crumble into a homophobic bigoted state, although all is not lost, I found this beautiful video of a young man talking about his family.  Zach has two moms and a sister.  He comes from a wonderfully loving family and is quite well adjusted and successful.  Here is his video. I’ve also had time to reflect on my family. I have a loving husband and four cats–okay so having four cats does make us a bit odd perhaps, but a threat to Marriage? a threat to Western Civilization?  I think not.  While I’m happy to take responsibility for my obsessive needs to clean my hardwood floors as part of the deterioration of American values, my GAY marriage has no effect on any of you fearful heterosexuals.  We have yet to hear our neighbors say: “Oh gee, Michael and Robert seem so  happy together. I can no longer go on as a heterosexual.”  Quite the contrary, our friends and neighbors, who happen to be heterosexual (Robert and I are very open minded) are quite loving and embracing of us–they are also very comfortable in their heterosexuality. This is a civil rights issue–you do not get to decide what I’m allowed to have. Thank you to all of our heterosexual allies, which now include Barbara Bush.  For those of you obsessed with homosexuality, like our Maggie, and NOM and FRC–you have my pity.

Does this strike fear into the hearts of heterosexuals?

Nominees for Bigot of the Year Award, 2010

24 Dec

What a Festival of Fools for this year’s list of nominees–a true embarrassment of riches (?), I suppose.  Looking at the list, one wonders what type of culture we have established in the United States.  Next Monday, I will start with number five and end with the number one bigot on Friday. Here is the Top 10 list of nominees for the dubious honor, Bigot of the Year Award:

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