The formal report on DADT, which McCain asked for, is barely off the press and he and Lindsey Graham are already in a bathroom stall tapping their feet to the tune of, “DADT Study is Flawed.” Is anyone really surprised that McCain is going back on his word? McCain’s obsessions with the LGBTQ community is starting to rival Fred Phelps and the FRC. Do we need to worry about poor Cindy that she may be married to a closet case? See the full story here. Thanks to my friend Tim Jung for sharing this story.
Finally, the full report of the Report of the Comprehensive Review of the Issues Associated with a Repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” is available and proves what we all knew to start with–it does not matter if us homos serve openly! Just as NATO articulated long ago. Is this enough evidence Senator McCain? Thank you to Jeremy’s blog for posting the full report.
At this point, most of you are aware of the “It Gets Better” project in response to the now over a dozen suicides of youth feeling bullied because of their sexual orientation. As a gay man with a loving husband and with two gay brothers, this project really hit home. I also realized there must be something more we can all do and reflected that hearing the collective honest voices of parents of LGBTQ children would strike a powerful chord of support. I would like to thank all of the parents that have come forward and hope all that read this series will feel free to thank them for their love, support, and courage.
I must confess, I have gone through an entire box of Kleenex reading these. You will see the questions are all standardized and the answers are in italics.
Our first parent is Judy Hauk, from Austin, Texas. Thank you, Judy!
How old was your son/daughter when you first suspected he/she was gay?
I never suspected he was gay….he hung out with a mixed group of girls and boys during jr. and sr. high school.
When you had that realization what were your initial thoughts and feelings?
When he came out to us, as I recall, my first feeling was sorrow because he had waited so long to talk to us about it and had gone through so much without our support.
I think my second reaction was to begin to “rearrange” the vision I had always held of his future, which of course took some time and thought. That time included some feelings of grief as I adjusted to the loss of many formerly-held visions of his “straight” adulthood. My respect and my fears for him were both increased. I was determined to support him in every way possible, and my love for him was stronger than ever.
If they have changed, what are your thoughts and feelings now?
Over the years, my respect for and pride in him has continued to increase. We did face some very difficult challenges with our extended family, but he has lived his life in a way that has shown them he remains the same person they loved before he came out. He has taught all of us so much about unconditional love. He changed his vocation from business, attended seminary, and is progressing towards ordination. He strives for equality in the church and in the world. And he may not have had a wedding, but we have two grandkids!
If you had a conversation with your son/daughter about their orientation, how old was he/she and how did the conversation go?
He was 23 (this was in 1991) and had very thoughtfully prepared for our talk. We had a lot of questions, which he did his best to answer. Our education continues, and he is a great teacher.
Have you ever attended a support group, such as PFLAG? If yes, did you get what you needed from the support group? Did you know what kind of support you needed?
I wasn’t sure what kind of support I needed. I joined PFLAG, but never attended meetings (there were not many active LGBTQ groups in our area of TN in 1991.) A woman with a gay son, who worked at our high school, had counseled him over the years and was a wonderful support. I read a lot of books and articles, talked with my pastor and received positive support from him. Our Presbyterian church hosted a panel discussion on the topic of homosexuality, with participants who were gay, pastors, and counselors. Sexual orientation was becoming a more open topic of public debate and my husband and I attempted to demonstrate our acceptance and express the need to move forward. We also learned many people we knew have gay children, and that we had many gay friends……our support group sort of found us.
Currently, there are many politicians that actively discriminate against the LGBTQ community, or run on anti-gay platforms. When you vote, do you try to make sure the candidate is supportive of your son/daughter?
Have you ever voted for an anti-gay candidate?
Not to my knowledge.
What would you like younger LGBTQ people to know or to take away from reading this interview?
You are not alone, and you are loved and lovable. You are strong enough to make it through your tough times…and you have the strength of millions of other LGBTQ people and their straight supporters behind you. Find an adult you can talk to….your parents, a friend’s parent, a teacher, coach, doctor, pastor, support agency, a call center, etc. Have hope for your future. Our son came out to us almost 20 years ago—I have witnessed a lot of progress during those years.
Thank you, Judy. If you know of a young person needing support, please also contact the Trevor Project.
This item is from DailyKos and I hope all of you that read this blog will take action today. Many of you may remember my Eating Cat Food post, well here is an opportunity to help all Americans. With the Catfood Commission set to release its proposals tomorrow, it’s time to pledge by calling your Senators and telling them to oppose cutting or privatizing Social Security.
You can do so by calling 1-866-529-7630, as part of the National Call Congress Day to protect Social Security. Tens of thousands are participating.
When you call 1-866-529-7630, you will hear an automated voice. The voice will give you some quick suggestions on what to say during your call, and then automatically redirect you to the office of one of your United States Senators. It’s quick and easy–just call 1-866-529-7630.
Now, I know people like me often ask you to call your Senators. And I know you are probably dubious about such calls making any difference. So, click here for an explanation of why, and how, your call will make a difference:
Happy Birthday, Shirley Chisholm. Chisholm was a teacher, activist, and politician. Chisholm was the first black woman elected to Congress in 1968. In 1972, Chisholm ran against Richard Nixon for President of the United States.
Mother Jones passed away today in 1930. Jones was a famous labor organizer.
Quote of the day:
No matter what the fight, don’t be ladylike! God almighty made women and the Rockefeller gang of thieves made the ladies. Mother Jones
At this point, I’m sure everyone knows about Mohamed Osman Mohamud’s failed attempt to bomb Pioneer Square. While it is, of course, unsettling to learn of this bomb threat, it is even more important to know this was an act of an individual! To paint an entire population with the same brush is dangerous and does only more harm. It is even more important now to be aware of Islamophobia and to continue to fight against discrimination.
Happy Birthday, Margaret Tudor, the sister of Henry VIII.
Happy Birthday, Louisa May Alcott, author of Little Women.
Happy Birthday, Cixi, the Dowager Empress of China, 1861-1908.